Brad Lebo and other principals of Vital Growth Consulting Group were featured in an article in the Portsmouth Herald. See here.
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7 Strategies to Influence and Improve EffectivenessSome people are naturally gifted in their ability to influence others. Most of us have to work at it. Whether you manage people or need to sell a product/service or idea, understanding the art and science of influencing others can definitely help your effectiveness. To help build your influence skills, consider applying one or more of these relatively simple strategies. Keep in mind that in order for these strategies to be effective, you need to learn them well enough to be able to carry out them seamlessly as well as automatically or subconsciously. That’s the “art” part to influencing others. It’s not easy and it takes discipline to know how and when to apply a particular strategy. Like any skill, it’s important to practice with intention, to experiment, to get feedback and to continue to work on even as you become an “expert”. Consider this. When you first learned to drive, you probably struggled to do anything but drive the car. Now you can talk to passengers, listen to music, navigate, etc. without even thinking about driving the car–you learned to drive automatically or subconsciously while you consciously attend to other tasks. In many ways, learning to use the strategies below automatically is easier than driving a car. And once you’ve mastered the art you’ll stand head and shoulders above most others who are attempting to influence the same audience. A FINAL BUT IMPORTANT NOTE: Influence strategies are worthless if you do not, first attend to and listen to the person you are trying to influence. Listening and attending to someone trumps all other strategies. If you are thinking strategy and not listening, you may miss valuable opportunities to gain influence or succeed in achieving your goal. Strategy 1 – Establish Rapport Rapport means to be in “sync” with someone else, even for a moment. From shop floor to corporate boardroom, sustained rapport paves the way for a relationship that ideally includes mutual trust and liking. Establishing rapport depends on both the content of any communication between people and the way the content is communicated. Usually, content is less important for the purposes of establishing rapport than how the content is exchanged. In other words, it matters less what you say than how you say it! There are many approaches to establishing rapport. Each approach takes advantage of the observation that people feel more comfortable with others who are like them or act in ways that are similar and familiar. This is not a call for mimicry. It is a call for adjusting one’s interaction to match another. This is also a call for suspending judgment and insincerity. Only the least sophisticated will be fooled by insincere attempts to match or by matching that includes any level of judgment. In my experience, the most useful approaches are:
You can check rapport regularly by seeing if the person you are trying to be “in rapport with” unconsciously mimics your natural actions. So, if you touch your hair or lean forward or look to your side, does the other person mimic your action within 5-15 seconds? As an exercise, watch couples and small groups in restaurants or elsewhere and decide who is in rapport and who isn’t. You are likely already or naturally good at establishing rapport with others. Using the approaches listed above will help you in situations where “things don’t flow as easily as usual” or when you are trying to lower a person’s defensive shield. Strategy 2 – Deepen your relationships You can deepen your relationship with others using several basic relationship care-taking techniques and approaches. One of the best guides to relationship building is the book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It has a gold mine of timeless insights on how to form and deepen relationships. The key insights from my point of view are:
There are many more points on building relationships in Carnegie’s book but you can gain a lot from paying attention to and developing your use of the four listed above. Usually about this point in most presentations on “Influence Strategies,” someone inevitably asks something like: “Isn’t this manipulation? You’ve told us to establish rapport and deepen our relationship with the person we are trying to influence but if we are doing this to get something we want, to influence the other person to do what we want, isn’t it manipulation?” or “If we are really skilled at this, how are we different from a skilled con-man?” My answer is, if your intention is to serve your self-interest only, than it is manipulation: A con. If, instead, you are looking to serve the other person’s and your own self-interest simultaneously, it is not manipulation. This is true whether you are attempting to influence the company’s lowest paid employee or the Chairman of the Board of Directors. In the real world, interactions are often multifaceted and complex but the point of looking for win-wins is essential to figuring out where your attempts to influence others land on the continuum from ethical influence to manipulation. Strategy 3 – Increase your ability to empathize with others Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, most of us think other people think/feel like we do. That is, we think others share or have very similar perspectives, priorities and comfort zones to our own. If they do not, they are wrong or something is wrong with them! Right? To overcome our own blindness to how other people see the world differently, we need to improve our skills at “reading” other’s perspectives, priorities and comfort zones. Doing so will increase our ability to empathize with them and appreciate their unique view. For example, some people are comfortable relating to other people and “schmoozing”. They place a priority on relationships and often excel at influencing others through interpersonal relationship. In contrast, some people are more comfortable in the world of facts and reason. They place great stock in knowledge and reasoning. These type of people are excellent at accomplishing tasks and, as often as not, will do well without collaborating with others. Being able to read which of these two very different types of people you are interacting with gives you tremendous insight into what is important to them and how to speak to what is motivating for them: To see the world as they do. Another way to overcome blindness to another’s perspectives, priorities and comfort zones is to listen well. Listening well is so easy to recommend–an obvious bit of advice. If you listen well, all but the most reserved will tell you what is important to them, how they see the world, when they are at ease and when they are not at ease. Listening well is easy to recommend but much harder to put into action. Indeed, most observers note that listening well is almost a lost art. To listen well you need to do three things consistently: 1. Forget about the impression you want to make and the information you want to share. 2. Truly care about what the other person is saying. 3. Ask questions that serve to deepen your understanding of the other person’s views, priorities and comfort zones. If you listen well, you can change the character of your interaction with the other person. Not only do you learn more about the other person, you also lay the groundwork for trust and respect. If you really want to elevate yourself above your peers (and competition), learn how to “read” people to see the type of person they are and learn how to really listen. These two skills will greatly enhance your ability to empathize with others and ultimately to influence them by appealing directly to what is important to them, given their perspectives, priorities and comfort zones. Strategy 4 – use reason and the strategy of “re-framing” Using reason is a common strategy for influencing others. It is the strategy of choice for most “experts” and others whose “leverage” comes from a well-reasoned argument. For example, someone might say, “We’ve found that the most efficient way to handle this task is to follow the procedures in your manual.” You can increase your effectiveness at using reason as a strategy for influencing others if you understand the perspectives, priorities and comfort zones of your audience (see strategy 3). For example, if you know someone resists changing how they’ve done something in the past but want them to adopt a new procedure, you might spend extra time telling him/her how the new procedure is more effective, will save money, help the company stay in business, etc. But to cut through the defenses that often protect someone’s reasons for behaving the way they do, try “Re-framing”. In essence, it is a change in perspective that opens the door to re-thinking about a particular problem or situation. For example, let’s say you do not believe you should “give away” an e*book on business networking–one of your areas of expertise. Then you learn that Seth Godin advocates giving away such content and making money on the “coffee table” versions of the book (the same content in printed form) and speaking/consulting engagements that come from the wider distribution of your “free” material. If you buy Mr. Godin’s argument, you are looking at your e*book from a new perspective, thinking about it differently. You have put a new “frame” around it. The potential of re-framing to influence others is amazing. Of course, it helps a great deal to understand your audience’s perspectives, priorities and comfort zones to re-frame their perspective. It also helps to be flexible in your own thinking as well as creative when trying to come up with new perspectives. In the example above, Seth Godin’s perspective changed through his own experience but only after he came up with the idea of trying a new approach. Another insight into the power of re-framing is to realize why stories often can be a powerful tool in re-framing the beliefs and behavior of others. The next time you hear someone tell a story, observe how the story can re-frame your (and other’s) view of the circumstances described in the story. Aesop’s Fables are great examples of stories that re-frame perspective. Finally, in a very important sense, your success using strategy 4 is dependent on your success in following strategy 3. Although reason and re-framing work without empathizing with the perspective and priorities of others, their effectiveness is not as great as it might otherwise be. Knowing what is important to your audience is critical is shaping your “well-reasoned (logical) argument” or “re-frame”. It is one reason people who are good at influencing groups often employ multiple rationales and perspectives behind a particular choice in their presentations–multiple to better align with the different views/thinking within the group. Strategy 5 – appeal to the other person’s self-interest This is not news to anyone who has tried to influence a sale or another’s behavior by pointing out how the other person gains by behaving in a certain way. The sales advice to “find out where the pain is and address it,” is a sterling example of “appeal to the other person’s self-interest” in practice. People who are very skilled at appealing to another person’s self-interest, quickly and accurately identify what self-interest to target. They also present their “pitch” in a fashion the emphasizes how self-interest is served. If I am able to really understand your perspective and priorities and can present my pitch in a way that shows how you benefit by moving in the direction I am trying to influence you, then the chances I will influence you increased significantly. In the real world, this can be as simple as telling a subordinate who is looking for a raise, to increase her performance in a specific way. It can also be as complex as asking a second subordinate what his priorities really are–discovering that more money is a distant second to flexibility in work hours and realizing that if you want to increase this subordinate’s performance you should dangle increased flexibility in work hours as a carrot. The real trick is not assuming that you know what the self-interests of another person are. It requires that you to stop making assumptions and ask questions to decide what is important in the other person’s view. Your ability to empathize with another person (strategy 3) has a role here but so does asking questions. To stop making assumptions is a real challenge for most of us. It saves time and energy to make assumptions after all. But halting the assumptions is a critical step toward being able to successfully identify and then appeal to another’s self-interest. So, to summarize:
If it doesn’t work every time for you, then you’re not asking enough questions or perceiving the other person’s self-interest. Try again until this strategy works consistently for you. Strategy 6 – Trigger automatic behavioral responses when appropriate This strategy and its sub-elements are adopted from the book: Influence: Science and Practice by Robert Cialdini. Cialdini focuses on strategies that trigger automatic behavioral responses. These automatic responses allow us to manage a complex world without endless deliberation over choices but do so at the expense of critical thought. For example, if we hear that others value a particular product, we tend to automatically assume that the product is valuable. In the process we suspend our critical thinking about the real value of the product to us. At their peak, such automatic behavioral responses can lead, for example, to increased price pressure. In the distant and not so distant past there have been”runs” on things like tulips, pet rocks and internet stocks that have more to do with automatic behavioral responses than critical analysis. If you are invested in influencing others, you should at least be aware of the possibility of influencing them through automatic behavioral responses and consider using them when it is ethical to do so. The automatic behavioral responses that Cialdini describes are:
When you choose to trigger an automatic behavioral response is up to you. The ethical use of this strategy ultimately pivots on whether your intent is to manipulate or guide. Generally speaking, if you trigger automatic behavioral responses because of genuine good intentions for others and without regard for the outcome, you’re on sound ethical ground. Otherwise, you’re probably flirting with being unethical. After all, being genuinely likable is a powerful advantage when you are trying to influence others. On the other hand, acting likable only when you see an advantage to you, flirts with being anti-social or sociopathic behavior. Strategy 7 – Maintain and sustain relationships through regular contact OK, you’ve successfully established rapport with someone, deepened your relationship using basic relationship care-taking techniques, are truly empathic, used the strategies of reasoning and re-framing and appealed to their self-interest and triggered, when appropriate, the automatic behavioral responses described by Cialdini. You’re in a great position to influence the person. BUT… you must maintain and sustain your hard-won relationship or it will wither from inattention. This should come as no surprise, but people who are most influential in their interpersonal interaction, regularly nurture and cultivate their relationships with others. The social technology of today (LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, etc.) can help but can also be a distraction and an ineffective substitute for the personal interaction that sustains relationships. I often find myself repeating the Maya Angelou quote, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If you follow the strategies outline above and are positive in your interaction, regular contact tells people they are significant to you and that alone makes most of us feel good. Before closing, it is important to note that the seven influence strategies presented here are meant to help you influence others in interpersonal interaction without the leverage of formal authority, political status, wealth or fame. Certainly if you are in a position of formal authority or have some other leverage over others, these strategies will work for you even if they are not all you have to work with. Masters of influence can be influential without the trappings of wealth, fame or fortune, however. Think about it. Intellectus principal, Dr. Brad Lebo, interviewed by Kelly Hearn and reported in the Portsmouth Hearld. See here for link to article and text below: The importance of good hiringTake key steps to make good choices; mistakes are costly
By Kelly Hearn
R. Brad Lebo, Ph. D., has worked in both large and small organizations and as a practicing psychologist. His current pursuit is the application of psychology in business settings, helping organizations hire, develop and align their people. Q: Can you talk about the cost companies face for hiring the wrong employee? Lebo: The costs of mishires are associated primarily with the cost of rehiring someone. So if you make a mishire and have to go out and hire someone else after 3 to 6 months, then you’ve lost the paid salary as well as the time and costs associated with hiring someone new. That can be six times the cost of an annual salary. When you calculate lost opportunity and misdirection it can be much more. A chief executive who takes a company down the wrong path and eventually to bankruptcy, for example, can cost many, many times more than the executive’s annual salary. For smaller businesses, it is mostly the cost of having to hire somebody else and the lost opportunities that came along while the person you fired was in the position. Q: Given that more and more baby boomers are retiring, do you think the market will face a leadership gap? Lebo: This is simple demographics. There are 75 million baby boomers, 45 million Generation Xers and 75 million of so-called Millennial Generation, Generation Y. So there is no question that as baby boomers retire there will be a gap in the number of available leaders among the Xers to take their position. When I talk about leadership, I am talking about the top echelon of the company as well as key managers up and down the rank and file. Q: What can you do to make sure your key employees are aligned with the company mission? Lebo: As an executive, you need to be clear about your own priorities and goals, and make sure your subordinates know what they are. Some of the companies I work with post goals in conspicuous places. People know, for example, that the goal is to turn around a key report in a week or two weeks. It’s also important to hold subordinates accountable for those priorities and goals. Often there is not a lot of specificity in what a subordinate should be doing. For example, for the salespeople developing new business you might set a measurable goal of 10 new accounts per month. So, A, be clear about your priorities and, B, find a way to measure them. Q: Can you talk about some of the assessment tools that can be used in hiring and development? Lebo: There are tools like the DISC assessment, which profiles personality traits or characteristics. So you can determine if a person, say, is good at directing others or at following rules or giving presentations, or if a certain personality is at least oriented in those ways. There are tools such as motivational surveys that can determine if a person is, say, motivated to direct other people, to accomplish a certain task or to be in close personal relationships with coworkers. You can also assess critical thinking ability with the Watson-Glaser Critical Thinking Appraisal, for example, or Raven’s Progressive Matrices. So you’re getting the idea of a person’s intellectual horsepower. I should say that none of these tools alone is grounds for saying yes or no. They just give you more data. Q: What can business leaders do to better manage stress? Lebo: In addition, to taking care of themselves in a medical sense, they can join a peer group such as Inner Circle. Such groups provide a forum for leaders to tackle the issues they face and to do so among peers. Inner Circle and similar groups provide an opportunity to receive or give objective feedback and end the isolation of leadership. Dr. Brad Lebo was a guest of hosts Tim Dabrieo and Mark Miller of the Seacoast Business Connections Radio Show. He was interviewed along with Todd Gerrish, President and founder of Port Lighting. The topic was managing Millennials or Generation Ys in the workplace. Please click on the link below for an audio replay of the broadcast.
The seventh strategy is to maintain and sustain a relationship through regular contact. If you have successfully established rapport with someone, deepened your relationship using basic relationship care-taking techniques and are truly empathic, you are in a great position to influence the person using the strategies of reasoning and re-framing, appeals to their self-interest and the automatic behavioral responses described by Cialdini BUT you must maintain and sustain your hard-won relationships or they will wither from inattention. This comes as no surprise, I am sure but it bears repeating that the people who are most influential in their interpersonal interaction, regularly nurture and cultivate their relationships with others. The social technology of today can help (LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, etc.) but also can be a distraction and an ineffective substitute for the personal interaction that sustains relationships. Finally, I often find myself repeating the Maya Angelou quote, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” It can be helpful to keep this quote in mind when you are trying to influence others and perhaps all the time. Before closing, it is important to note that the seven influence strategies presented in this series are meant to help you influence others in interpersonal interaction without the leverage of formal authority, political status, wealth or fame. Certainly if you are in a position of formal authority or have some other leverage over others, these strategies will work for you even if they are not all you have to work with. Masters of influence can be influential without the trappings of wealth, fame or fortune. Think about it. The sixth strategy is to trigger automatic behavioral responses when appropriate. This strategy and its sub-elements are adopted from the book: Influence: Science and Practice by Robert Cialdini. Cialdini focuses on strategies that trigger automatic behavioral responses. These automatic responses allow us to manage a complex world without endless deliberation or choosing but do so at the expense of critical thought. For example, if we hear that others value a particular product, we tend to automatically assume that the product is valuable. In the process we suspend our critically thinking about the actual value of the product to us. At their peak, such automatic behavioral responses can lead to increased price pressure. In the distant and not so distant past there have been”runs” on things like tulips, pet rocks and internet stocks that have more to do with automatic behavioral responses than critical analysis. If you are invested in influencing others, you should at least be aware of the possibility of influencing them through automatic behavioral responses and consider using them when it is ethical to do so. The automatic behavioral responses that Cialdini describes are:
When you choose to trigger an automatic behavioral response is up to you, of course. The ethical use of this strategy ultimately pivots on whether your intent is to manipulate or guide. Generally speaking, if you trigger automatic behavioral responses because of genuine good intentions for others and without regard for the outcome, you’re on sound ethical ground. Otherwise, you’re probably flirting with being unethical. After all, being genuinely likable is a powerful advantage when you are trying to influence others. On the other hand, acting likable only when you see an advantage, flirts with being anti-social or sociopathic behavior. An important compliment to strategy 4 is to appeal to the other person’s self-interest. This is not news to anyone who has tried to influence a sale or another’s behavior by pointing out how the other person gains by behaving in a certain way. The sales advice to “find out where the pain is and address it,” is a sterling example of “appeal to the other person’s self-interest” in practice. People who are very skilled at appealing to another person’s self-interest, quickly and accurately identify what self-interest to target. They also present their “pitch” in a fashion the emphasizes how self-interest is served. If I am able to really understand your perspective and priorities and can present my pitch in a way that shows how you benefit by moving in the direction I am trying to influence you, then the chances I will influence you increased significantly. In the real world, this can be as simple as telling a subordinate who in looking for a raise, to increase her performance in a specific way. It can also be as complex as asking a second subordinate what his priorities really are–discovering that more money is a distant second to flexibility in work hours and realizing that if you want to increase this subordinate’s performance you should dangle increased flexibility in work hours as a carrot. The real trick is not assuming that you know what the self-interests of another person are. It requires that you to stop making assumptions and ask questions to determine what is important in the other person’s view. Your ability to empathize with another person (strategy 3) has a role here but so does asking questions. In the midst of a series on influencing others, I pose the question, “are you making an impact”? People and products that make an impact are exceptional and stand out. People and products that fail to make an impact are quickly forgotten. If your product or service impresses, moves, or otherwise “wows” people, your challenge will be supplying enough. Apple computer has, for the most part, mastered the art of making an impact. Consider both the iPod and iPhone. If your product or service does not make an impact, the product or you become a commodity–something that is useful but not indistinguishable from other similar products or services. Think of laundry detergent, “light beer” or your typical grocery store. We see marketing campaigns aimed at differentiating products that are commodities all the time. For example, beer marketing campaigns tell us how a particular beer is different and better, while blind taste tests of beer fail to indicate much quality difference between brands. Is your product or service a “commodity”? Look to the example of Apple or better still, Zappos.com, to learn ways of distinguishing your product or service from the competition. When it comes to you as an individual, are you a “commodity”? The fact is that most of us are commodities. Our efforts, even if competent and conscientious, fail to make an impact or if they do, the impact is short-lived. Superstars in the worlds of sports or entertainment, make an impact with their performances and do so consistently. Superstars in the world of business do the same. Look for ways to make an impact through the clarity of your thinking, the creativity of your ideas, the value of your “outside the box problem” solving and, perhaps most importantly, by adopting the priorities of your boss or customer while getting things done. Working hard and being competent are good but not enough alone to raise your value from commodity to stand out. Ask yourself, “how do I make and impact”? Focus on being more than just competent and conscientious. Think about how you can make an impact! Problem employees may be disruptive, unproductive, destructive, unhelpful, frequently absent, or just disconnected. It’s not uncommon for problem employees to emerge after the “honeymoon” period of just being hired or to even surprise everyone with bad behavior after a long track record of success. What’s important is to take a hard and objective look at problem employees and understand the reasons they become problems (or start as one). Employees are liabilities instead of assets for one or more of the following four reasons:
Understanding the reason an employee is a problem starts the process of solving the problem. Solutions include development, re-assignment, and treatment of mental health and medical problems. Which reason or reasons best describes your problem employee? The fourth strategy for increasing influence is to use reason and the strategy of “re-framing” to sway your audience (peer, subordinate, etc.). Using reason is a common strategy for influencing others. It is the strategy of choice for most “experts” and others whose “leverage” comes from a well-reasoned argument. For example, someone might say, “we’ve found that the most efficient way to handle this task is to follow the procedures in your manual.” You can increase your effectiveness at using reason as a strategy for influencing others if you understand the perspectives, priorities, and comfort zones of your audience (see strategy 3). For example, if you know someone resists changing how they’ve done something in the past but want them to adopt a new procedure, you might spending extra time telling him/her how the new procedure is more effective, will save money, and will help the company stay in business… “Re-framing” is a special strategy that can be useful to cut through the defenses that often protect someone’s reasons for behaving the way they do. In essence, it is a change in perspective that opens the door to re-thinking about a particular problem or situation. For example, let’s say you do not believe you should “give away” an e*book on business networking–one of your areas of expertise. Then you learn that Seth Godin advocates giving away such content and making money on the “coffee table” versions of the book (the same content in printed form) and speaking/consulting engagements that come from the wider distribution of your “free” material. If you buy Mr. Godin’s argument, you are looking at your e*book from a new perspective, thinking about it differently. You have put a new “frame” around it. The potential of re-framing to influence others is amazing. Of course, it helps a great deal to understand your audience’s perspectives, priorities, and comfort zones to re-frame their perspective. It also helps to be flexible in your own thinking as well as creative when trying to come up with new perspectives. In the example above, Seth Godin’s perspective was changed through his own experience but only after he came up with the idea of trying a new approach. Another insight into the power of re-framing is to realize why stories often can be a powerful tool in re-framing the beliefs and behavior of others. The next time you hear someone tell a story, observe how the story can re-frame your (and other’s) view of the circumstances described in the story. Aesop’s Fables are great examples of stories that re-frame perspective. Finally, in a very important sense, your success using strategy 4 is dependent on your success in following strategy 3. Although reason and re-framing work without empathizing with the perspective and priorities of others, their effectiveness is not as great as it might otherwise be. Knowing what is important to your audience is critical is shaping your “well-reasoned (logical) argument” or “re-frame”. It is one reason why people who are good at influencing groups often employ multiple rationales and perspectives behind a particular choice in their presentations–multiple to better align with the different views/thinking within the group. High performance hiring has the goal of having top performers at every level of your organization. It is based on the work of Brad Smart and his book: Topgrading: How Leading Companies Win by Hiring, Coaching, and Keeping the Best People. High performance hiring assumes that everyone has unique talents and interests but that these talents and interests differ substantially from person to person. High performance hiring further assumes that for every position in the organization there are individuals who are ideally suited to excel in the position, just as there are many individuals who are ill-suited for the position. Leaders in any organization are in a pivotal position to work toward hiring top performers. It is arguable that no other process improvement or technological improvement comes close to returning as much on investment, than the time spent investing in the strategies of high performance hiring. The Strategies:
The High Performance Hiring Steps:
Additional High Performance Steps:
It is very common to assume that others share our perspective and priorities. This assumption is often incorrect. Being able to “read” others can help you appreciate how they are different: How their perspective, priorities, and even comfort in certain situations might be quite different than your own. For example, individuals who are most comfortable when everyone is in harmony and cooperating, tend to be uncomfortable when having to tell others what to do. The document below has four sections. Each section defines a particularly “way of being” with others. All of us are most comfortable in one of these sections (for example, Directing with Comfort from Reason). Many of us are almost equally comfortable in a second section (for example, Directing with Comfort from Reason and Adapting with Comfort from Reason). Very few of us are comfortable in more than two sections or in more than two “ways of being”. This does not mean we cannot influence others who are at ease in sections we are not. By emphasizing in our communication, the features of a situation that bring them the most comfort, we can “speak” to their perspective and priorities. The red text in each section provides guidance for influencing someone based on his/her comfort zone. Comments, questions?
Topgrading with Twist combined the best of Topgrading procedures with some complimentary strategies for screening and selecting the best performers for every position in your organization. See below: In a talk to the New Hampshire Financial Managers Association in late 2009, I showed a series of videos demonstrating four behavioral realms. The behavioral realms are described in a pdf file found here. The video demonstrating the four realms is below. PLEASE NOTE: As you watch the video, please try to decide whether the person is directing or adapting and whether he/she takes comfort from reason or affiliation. Hints of what to look for are: people who are directing take the lead, seek your attention, and are difficult to interrupt. People who are adapting look to be a member of a community, to fit in with others. People who take comfort from reason rely on the content of their comments, the facts and rationale, while people who take comfort from affiliation rely on the strength of their connection with their audience and are often charming and entertaining. See the pdf file referred to above for additional hints. ALSO: the fourth video starts with Katie Couric but the person to watch is Captain “Sully” Sullenberger. FINALLY: You can control the video by right “clicking” on the video and choosing from the menu. |
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